


what's love got to do with it

by gurj14



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Smut, Unrequited Love, ambitious lexa wants to be president
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:13:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28513989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gurj14/pseuds/gurj14
Summary: It was worth it, she tells herself, as Lexa sears kisses into her skin, so worth it to have her like this.Better something than nothing.AU oneshot where Clarke knows she's in love, sights set on Lexa Woods, but Lexa has her sights set ahead. A short new year ficlet.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 7
Kudos: 165





	what's love got to do with it

Clarke had been ‘friends’ with Anya, Bellamy, and Finn for years, meeting in college parties hosted by her student council and letting them compete over her affections like the toddlers they were. 

It was clockwork -- they would see who could flirt and steal her time and they would also complain about ‘Lexa’ ( complaining about her had been going on for over four years and counting). It was the one thing that they all seemed to agree on even though they argued over everything else. The three musketeers were all at the same law school, which was how Clarke found herself at the douchebag party of the year, full of Ivy League lawyers boasting the brands of their watches and shoes. 

She was in an Ivy League medical school, Polis was the best damn university in the country, yet all starving medical students were too busy crying over their debt to complain about anything except the campus store running out of instant noodles while the law trust fund students complained if they spilled coffee on a shirt. 

Clarke had her grievances. 

“She’s the fucking  _ worst _ , Clarke, you don’t understand,” Bellamy was a little tipsy as he said it, on another ‘Lexa’ rant. 

It was the Polis University New Year’s Eve soiree, a black tie event on campus in the main hall to accommodate the plethora of students who showed up to party here right before classes resumed on campus and right after the Christmas festivities ended. 

“What happened this time?” Clarke accepted the drink Bellamy had purchased for her, letting him think he was ahead tonight and enjoying the way Finn scowled and Anya huffed. 

They didn’t know that she knew, but Clarke knew that Bellamy, Finn, and Anya had a bet as to who could get her in bed first. She thought after the first three years of turning them down they’d move on, but it turned out they were still unrelenting. 

If she  _ had _ to pick she’s probably fuck Anya, her second choice Finn, and her last choice would be Bellamy -- but they were supposed to be her  _ friends  _ and they were being especially gross tonight with the lewd ogling. So they were never going to get in her pants, but they could supply her with all the free food and drinks and flowers in their attempts. 

She enjoyed playing them right back, groaning as she swallowed some liquid. 

“I got you the good stuff,” Bellamy clinked his glass with hers, giving her his best smile before continuing with this source of complaint, “Ugh. Lexa. She got selected as class valedictorian.” 

He gestured his chin and Clarke looked behind her, wanting to see this infamous thorn in the side of her friends. All she saw was a very drunk looking blond adorning heavy glasses making out with a boy. Clarke raised her eyebrow. That was ‘Lexa?’ 

“I need a drink,” Finn joined them, Anya by his side with a frown. 

“I take you both heard about Woods?” Bellamy huffed, “I would almost rather it was you, Finn.” 

“Gee thanks -- you know I had the highest grade on the commercial midterm, how did she get a higher GPA than me again?” Finn tossed back his shot of tequila and gestured for two more before turning heady eyes to Clarke, “Clarke, what can I get you?”

“I already got her covered,” Bellamy smirked at him. 

“Play nice boys,” Any was beside her, all warm body and seductive smile (and yes, Clarke had eyes okay -- it’s not like Anya wasn’t hot!). “How about a dance Clarke?”

“Me next,” Finn said, causing Bellamy to scowl. 

Clarke laughed, “you guys are like children.”

/

After letting them each have a dance, Clarke got a phone call from her mother and left the noise of the soiree music to head towards the student council building -- it was bound to be quiet there. 

“Happy New Year mom, are you heading into surgery soon?” She listened as her mother giggled over the phone about a joke told by a nurse, smiling back into the phone. 

Just as she hung up, she saw a shadow nearby and turned, stunned speechless. 

“Yes, goodnight Aden, I’ll call you back in the new year enjoy...” a woman was saying into her own cell phone, clearly having had the same idea to leave the party for a quiet call. 

She was all flowing chestnut hair tossed over a shoulder, wearing an all-white suit with bedazzled, glittering silver high heels and large teardrop diamond earrings. The suit hugged her frame perfectly, tight and tailored, and she had a silver clutch she put her phone into as well as  _ no shirt _ under the jacket. 

Clarke had never been more attracted to a person in her life. 

“You’re Clarke Griffin,” the woman said simply, stepping into Clarke’s personal space and politely extending a hand and smile. 

Clarke blushed and shook the hand, jolted from the softness of both her skin and voice. 

“Y-yeah,” she croaked, shyly tucking her hair behind her ear, “h-have we met before?”

“No,” the woman said, “but I admire your work on the student council. You improved the recycling, the cafeteria… extended the library hours… got us a new Starbucks on campus.” 

The last one was almost a joke and Clarke couldn’t believe the disgusting, love-struck giggle that came out of her own mouth.

“T-thanks, um, us med-kids need our coffee y’know?”

“You’ve done exceptional work as President of the University,” she complimented genuinely.

Clarke felt her heartbeat triple in pace, not double. She shyly looked up from her lashes to ask, “what’s your um, name?”

“Oh, sorry how rude of me, I’m Lexa Woods. I study law here.”

Clarke was stunned, “Lexa Woods?”

“Um, that’s right,” Lexa furrowed her brows, “you know me?”

“Know you?” Clarke thought back to her every single description she had heard from her competitive friends and shrugged, “heard of you sure, but no, I don’t know you…”

Lexa nodded at her and after a small beat simply excused herself, “right well, it was nice to meet you, Clarke. See you around.” 

She headed back to the soiree, shoulders straight like a model, perfect balance in her high heels. Clarke realised she was staring at the tight swell of her ass and blushed furiously. She couldn’t even excuse her ogling as drunken behaviour. 

/

“Tell me about Lexa Woods,” she said as soon as she found her friends laughing around some chairs as more and more people hit the dance floor. 

“Insufferable know-it all,” Anya muttered. 

“Fucking  _ bitch _ ,” Finn agreed. 

Clarke casually looked around the room, eyes catching the white of a suit in the distance at the bar, and Lexa Woods patiently waiting for the man ahead of her to get out of the way. 

“You guys all failed to mention she is absolutely  _ hot _ ,” Clarke told them, entranced by the woman’s jaw and hair, “not to mention swoon-worthy and polite and --  _ fuck  _ me.” 

The panic it caused was hilarious. 

“Clarke you can’t be serious! She’s a total grandmother,” Anya said again, “The Dean had the top students over for dinner, ignored the rest of us to talk about  _ brandy  _ with Lexa. Who the fuck drinks brandy if not your grandmother?”

“And she’s ruthless! She snagged that internship with Wallace last year,” Bellamy leaned forward before sipping his beer, “no third year ever gets an internship like that but she somehow did!” 

“Clarke you can’t -- no way,” Finn added. 

Clarke was too far gone, “watch me.” 

Her feet carried her away from them and she stood by Lexa, enchanted as green eyes slanted to her in recognition. 

“We meet again,” Lexa observed. 

“I... um,” Clarke was flustered and cursing herself for being a stuttering fool around this woman. 

“What would you like?” Lexa leaned an elbow casually on the bar and opened her clutch to take out two drink tickets, “excuse me do you have any brandy?”

The bar guy nodded and poured her some, and Clarke felt her palms sweat, “I’ll take a white wine, please.” 

Lexa gently murmured her order and then the gentleman poured her a wine, and somehow Clarke was standing at a table with Lexa Woods at the New Year’s soiree with a plastic cup of wine in her hands. 

“This is my first time. Attending here, I mean,” Clarke was still stuttering a bumbling, clammy hands and racing hearts. 

“Is that why you’re so nervous?” Lexa asked her, observing her and leading her away from the noise of the crowd, “or is that because you came here to approach me?”

Clarke was caught red-handed. 

“I…”

Lexa smiled at her and in the background there was a countdown for the New Year but with drunk resolution she poured her wine down her throat and then kissed Lexa Woods on the mouth. 

//

//

//

Clarke knows she’s the only girl Lexa sleeps with. While Lexa is closed off, demure, and always focused on work she’s still a kind woman who does not toy with any of her admirers. 

Still, they don’t define what they are. They have dinner once a week amidst their busy schedules before spending the night at Lexa’s apartment, and coffee downtown when Lexa visits her on an overnight hospital shift. 

She knows she is the only girl Lexa sleeps with and yet, she feels insecure when another  _ beautiful _ woman who works at Lexa’s firm flirts with her during her work party. 

Lexa had joined the District Attorney’s office, not chasing the corporate money that had been offered her by many firms upon her graduation. Clarke loved that about her. She worked hard like she was climbing a mountain but was so dedicated to helping people. 

Clarke had been with her for six months, and while she knew Lexa treated her well… she could not stop the insecurities that festered from watching this the other tall, beautiful attorney who giggled too close to Lexa and the overshadowing fact that Lexa prioritized work over her. 

“Are you okay?” Lexa asks her when they make it to her apartment. Clarke is usually giddy when she spends the night, loving the tidy and cozy quarters her paramour had that allowed them privacy and intimacy. 

She would be the one to pull Lexa into a kiss, spreading her legs willingly. But not tonight. 

“What are we, Lexa?” She asks her, eyes begging for a clear answer. 

“Oh,” Lexa looks surprised, “what do you mean exactly?”

How sweet it was that Lexa always made sure to understand her, yet how infuriating that same sweetness felt now. 

“I  _ mean  _ you invited me to your work party as your date, but spent most of the evening with another woman!”

Lexa is gently grabbing her hand, “Clarke I was not -- that’s just Karley Jaha, Senator Jaha’s daughter.” 

“Is that supposed to mean something?” Clarke felt tears of frustration in her eyes. 

“Senator Jaha, our senator? His daughter works with me, that is all. Strictly professional.” 

Clarke doesn’t have the answer or clarity she wants and makes to leave the apartment. 

“I should go home.” She’s reaching for the door and Lexa is grabbing her wrist to stop her. 

“Please don’t go.” 

“Do you even want me the way I want you Lexa?” She knows she’s crying now, and Lexa is looking at her in pity. Clarke doesn’t want her pity, and twists her wrist out the hold to grab the door handle. 

She felt her body turned around again, and with gentle care pressed into the apartment door. Lexa’s hands are on her cheeks, thumbs wiping away her tears. 

“I do want you, Clarke,” Lexa tells her softly, “and I can commit to you, if that’s what you need from me I can do that.” 

Clarke shivers as lips gently kiss her own, all of her insecurity pushed down further. Repressed. 

Lexa did not say ‘I love you’ but Clarke was so in love she took what was given. 

“Okay,” she told her, accepting it. “I just -- I  _ love  _ you, Lexa.”

After she confesses her feelings, Lexa’s eyes find her own. They don’t share that love and Clarke  _ knows _ there’s care there and nothing more. No love. 

But it was better than nothing. 

“Clarke…” Lexa was honest with her, no grand notions of romance or expectations. “I will do my best for you, okay? But you know work is most important to me… I can’t afford distractions. As long as you can accept that, I am yours... ” 

Clarke kisses her, finding herself in Lexa’s bed again. She’s so in love and all she wants is Lexa. 

//

//

//

Lexa’s devotion to work makes sense when she’s elected youngest State Senator at only thirty years old, beating the popular and long running Senator Thelonioius Jaha for the spot. 

She’s slow dancing with Lexa at the after-party of the election, having been part of the campaign as Lexa’s fiancee. Lexa had proposed right before running -- an obvious campaign maneuver yet Clarke had never been so happy as when Lexa asked her, down on one knee in their shared apartment. 

_ I swear I will always protect you, care for you, provide for you… will you marry me, Clarke? _

Lexa cared about her -- yet Lexa had never even said ‘I love you.’ But Clarke was so in love she didn’t need to hear it back, as long as she had those moments -- like this one -- where she had Lexa all to herself. Those were the moments she clung to. 

Six years with her now, and while she had been dreaming of marriage even sooner than that, Clarke understood the woman she loved more than Lexa perhaps understood herself. 

Lexa was hungry -- a visionary. She had been dreaming of the Senate, it was why she worked so hard in Law School. It was why she picked Clarke. 

“You did well, Lexa,” she leaned back from their slow sway, her hands linked at the back of Lexa’s neck. “Congratulations senator…”

Lexa smiled and kissed her at the same time, hands warm at Clarke’s waist. Everyone else had left and it was just them and soft jazz tones. 

“Thank you for standing by my side through it all, Clarke,” Lexa whispered into her ear. “You were amazing.” 

She knows they’ve had photoshoots, magazine interviews, television ones -- all for Lexa’s campaign. Clarke had been so willing to support her, learn the ropes of how to use her social media… shamelessly enjoyed that campaigning with Lexa gave them more time together. 

Clarke kissed her gently, wanting to celebrate in bed. “Can we go home?”

Lexa inhaled sharply. One thing Clarke knew, that while Lexa never said ‘I love you,’ Lexa had always been clear when she said ‘I want you’ and tonight her eyes held a fire of such lust. 

_ Only for me,  _ Clarke thinks, needing the affirmation. 

“Clarke,” Lexa’s voice was soft, “I want you… only you...”

Clarke realised she had begged to hear it out loud, and they skip the urgency to go home as she lets Lexa hoist her onto the campaign desk in the back office. 

It was worth it, she tells herself, as Lexa sears kisses into her skin, so worth it to have her like this. 

Better something than nothing. 

//

//

//

//

“Being President of this country has always been my dream,” Lexa says her acceptance speech on National Television. Clarke hangs behind her, wrapped in a white pea coat and holding up their younger son Alex on her hip and their older son, Alex’s biological brother, Gregory by the hand. Gregory was deaf and nine years old -- an orphaned victim of a bombing in a warzone Clarke had flown down to help two years ago, a year before Lexa’s run for the presidency. They adopted him and Alex after Clarke had shared his story to Lexa. 

Clarke loved them, truly felt she was meant to adopt them… but she was starting to doubt Lexa’s intentions these days. The woman she loved was devoted to her vision and the two boys served her public image well. 

Still, when Lexa’s speech was done and she was sworn into office, Clarke smiled and waved for the cameras and the video clip of Gregory signing to Lexa ‘I’m proud to be your son’ was soon on every website, news station, and reel. 

Lexa had made history -- youngest President of the United States with the biggest number of votes. 

/

Clarke took in the whitehouse, watching the boys laugh in excitement. Alex was sleepy, and one thing Clarke appreciated was the whitehouse had a nanny he was smitten with to put him to bed so she could steal some privacy with Lexa. 

“Can we talk?” Lexa asks her, reaching for her hand and tugging her gently forward for a kiss. 

“Lexa,” Clarke whispers, eyes averting on purpose to the secret service agents all around them. That was new. 

“They won’t be in our bedroom,” Lexa promised her quietly. “Come.” 

Clarke has had Lexa so many ways -- but the first time she always remembered with the most fondness. How gentle Lexa had been, undressing her and making love to her. 

Tonight felt like that, the way Lexa undressed her. 

She had known she never wanted anyone else from the moment she laid eyes on Lexa that fateful night, and had the courage to kiss her as the new year rang. She was like an addict, always ready for Lexa and willing. Taking what she could get. 

“Congratulations Madam President,” Clarke whispers in her ear, groaning as a naked torso settled between her legs in the fine silk sheets of the whitehouse. 

“You know,” Lexa confessed into her ear, “anytime I felt tired on this campaign I would think about this -- you in this bed with me when I’m the President and god, Clarke, I thought about it during the debate…”

Clarke bucked into her, desperate to hear more -- to hear how much Lexa wanted her still. It had been so long that she got to have this, Lexa’s full attention, and she gasped her name as their bodies slid together in powerful friction. 

“Tell me,” she arched up into Lexa’s body. “What did you picture?”

“Having you like this,” Lexa rolled onto her back, wanting to look up and watch Clarke’s breasts bounce as she fucked up into her. 

Clarke pumped her hips, keeping hands pressed into Lexa’s shoulders as pleasure coursed through her. Their eyes met and Lexa groaned from the jiggling of her tits. 

“Just like this, I knew no matter what--” Clarke moaned, high pitched, with each thrust that hit her deep. “-- was said in that debate I was going to win so I could fuck you like this on this bed in this whitehouse--!”

“Oh  _ fuck _ , Lexa,” Clarke is overwhelmed as she orgasms, collapsing on Lexa’s chest and panting. 

Lexa had never been so…Blunt. So open about her lust. 

Clarke felt herself turned around in the sheets, on her back again as Lexa’s warm naked skin pressed above her and a gentle kiss took her lips. 

“Thank you Clarke, for standing by my side… supporting me…”

“For better or for worse, right?” Clarke says, knowing they had made that vow on the happiest day of her life. 

“For better or for worse…” Lexa gives her a look, one that Clarke had not seen since before they were official -- one full of pity.

Her heart breaks and she feels betrayed. 

“Don’t look at me like that, Lexa--”

“Clarke--”

“No,” Clarke was out of the bedsheets, and suddenly everything she had kept bottled up inside, every insecurity and heartbreak she had suppressed, came rushing back. 

“Clarke,” Lexa was hugging her and Clarke realised she was sobbing. 

“Everyone said you were the worst -- heartless and,” Clarke cried, “that you had no feelings but you’ve always been so -- you  _ care  _ about me.”

“I do,” Lexa was promising her, “I care about you more than anyone else.” 

“Do you love me?”

Lexa hugged her tighter. “You are the only one I want, Clarke.” 

“How come you don’t--” Clarke broke into hysterical sobs, unable to hold back her heart’s built up frustrations, “how come you aren’t in love with me, the way I am with you?”

Lexa was silent, cradling her as Clarke continued to cry. 

//

//

“Well, well, well,” Clarke was tipsy and she grinned at the group of lawyers who were excited to see the first lady approach them at the charity dinner. “My old friends.” 

“Long time no see Griffin.”

She sits down at a table with Finn, Bellamy, and Anya, laughing as they share what they’ve been up to since they lost touch after college. 

“Raven is now my wife,” Anya declared, smug as she finished telling the tale of the three of them turning their affection to another girl once it was clear Clarke only had eyes for Lexa. 

“I just got married last year,” Bellamy shares, “her name’s Echo. She works in the whitehouse, actually.” 

Clarke feels more sober when the whitehouse is brought up, because the whitehouse reminded her she was married to the President -- a woman she was in love with who didn’t feel the same. 

Ten years. Ten years, devoted and hopeful, only to be pitied. 

Lexa had been in office for six months now, the apple of the country’s eye, she set out to make change and was actually delivering on the promise she made to win her seat in office. The public adored her for it. 

But Clarke had not shared a bed with her again since the first night, too heartbroken. 

She had been sticking around for scraps and finally realised she was not happy. 

“College feels like a lifetime ago doesn’t it,” Anya commented. “Even Finn is settled down now.”

  
“Really?” Clarke raises her brow at him, “do tell!”

“His name is Ken,” Finn shows her a picture and Clarke teases him just a bit when he shares the story of how they met, fighting over the last bottle of wine on a rack. 

“That’s adorable Finn.” 

“Hey, you’re one to talk,” Finn smirks back at her, “remember when we all warned you to stay away from Lexa Woods--”

“And you said ‘watch me!’ and hey, you’re married now aren’t you?” Bellamy reminded her of that night, mimicking her with a high voice. Clarke playfully punched him. Their giggles died down and Clarke knows why, realising Lexa had found them, secret service agents flanked behind her. 

“We better go Clarke,” Lexa says gently, turning kind eyes to her old classmates, “nice to see you all again.” 

“Likewise,” Anya was on her feet, shaking her hand, “glad I voted for you Woods.” 

Lexa shakes Bellamy and Finn’s hands too and Clarke takes a selfie with them before making them all promise to stay in touch and show up at the whitehouse for a private tour sometime. 

They do, and Clarke’s ability to fake her mood shifts when it’s just her and Lexa being driven back to the whitehouse with the full security fleet. 

“Did you enjoy the party?” Lexa quietly asks her. 

Clarke ignores her, not in the mood. 

When they return, Clarke retires to the one of the extra bedrooms she had been sleeping in since her embarrassing, broken hearted cry-fest, removing her jewelry and wondering when she realised she was so unhappy. 

A soft knock is on her door, and Clarke knows it is her tea she requested from the kitchen. She’s surprised to see Lexa is the one holding it and not the maid. 

Lexa stood shyly, no longer in her formal attire but instead in her monogrammed silk pajamas. 

Looking beautiful. 

“May I come in?” Lexa asks her, voice soft and hopeful, “I was hoping we could talk.” 

Clarke steps aside. 

They sit on the bed and Lexa hands her the cup of tea. Their hands touch and Clarke feels her heart lurch all over again. 

“Clarke,” Lexa says quietly. “I have broken my promise to protect you… not knowing I needed to protect you from me.” 

Clarke feels tears well in her eyes. She focused down on her lap. 

This was it. This was the day she had feared that Lexa would leave her. 

“Don’t pity me Lexa,” Clarke begs her, “I’ve served my purpose, you’re in the whitehouse… I get it.” 

“I don’t think you do,” Lexa’s voice was sharp, a tone Clarke had never heard in their ten years. 

She looks up at the tone and to her surprise Lexa’s eyes are tearful on their own account too. Never had she seen Lexa like this, and levelled her to listen. 

“I  _ do _ love you Clarke. I am -- I am in love with you. I meant that… I have been so afraid to say it back, so cautious to treat you well…. Because I didn’t know I was in love. They say we know when we know but… you’re the only woman I want, the only one who understands me. You and the boys are my family --  _ you  _ are my home. Yes I have been so focused to get here--” she gestures with her arms metaphorically meaning the whitehouse, “-- but after achieving it I know it means nothing if I can’t have you too. You have been so patient with me, I hope I’m not too late saying this now but…”

Clarke is crying and Lexa is kneeling before her, and somehow this is so much more intimate than when she proposed and Clarke shudders in happiness that her one desire is being granted to her. 

“Please forgive me,” Lexa kissed her knuckles, “please take me back… please come back to me.” 

“Lexa,” she whispered her tearful happiness -- happier than any moment they shared before. 

This happiness didn’t compare to the first kiss or first date, the first time or first breakfast. It was a move in their relationship not defined by sharing keys, and later a bed. It was not defined by a proposal or a label… 

It was just between them, one heart to another, and Clarke forgave. Everything had been worth it, to have Lexa love her she would go through all the uncertainty, heartache, and challenge all over again and more. 

“Tell me again,” she begged as Lexa sets her tea aside and hugs her tightly. 

“I love you, only you,” Lexa promises. 

//

//

Things change between them after Lexa’s confession.

While Lexa wins another four year term and achieves her lifelong dream to not only be President but to be the one who makes a difference, makes a name in history books.

She also follows through in her attention to their marriage and relationship. 

If she’s in town, she makes time for Clarke and the boys. When they have sex, she has love baring in her eyes openly. And when she’s away, she actually shows she misses them with a phone call. 

It’s the little things, but the little things make all the difference to Clarke. And now the woman she is in love with admits to being in love with her, and Clarke is happier -- the happiest she’s ever been. 

Another new year and another new day. 

//

fin. 


End file.
